a rant.. a vent... call it what you want..

here comes a rant... I have this sister.. let's call her Anne. Anne has always been jealous of me and the relationship I have with our mom. I am my mom's caregiver, we live together. And she has been my caregiver over the years too but now in her golden years, she is bedridden due to health issues, I'm her main caregiver and P.O.A. for quite some time now.

So, since my mom can't do much for herself these days I'm always trying to figure out ways to make her days better or even great. Recently I had an idea to get some of my family here to visit her. Everyone lives at a distance so I contacted my cousins in Orillia and Tara and near Kingston to see what we could accomplish. One one stipulation. My mom didn't want my sister or brother (I have a peace bond on him because he's a piece of work - yes.. a real peace bond, through the courts) to know and wanted nothing said on facebook either.

We got only a few able to make it but my one cousin came with her husband and brought the two people I really wanted here. This was not for us, this was for my mom. My cousin brought her mom, my mom's sister! And my aunt's husband too. They were so happy to see each other. Neither is getting healthier or younger and I felt it was important. The last time the sisters saw each other was almost 2 years ago when my mom was seriously ill in hospital. My nephew and his family came too which was really nice for my mom.

So now comes the problem. Seems my cousin didn't understand "nothing on facebook" and does it. Now my sister gets an earful and starts in on my mom. She calls before the event to tell my mom she knows about it. And that she thinks it's a secret so don't say anything! ok.. so if it was a secret you had to let the cat out of the bag??? Now kind of you Anne. No, that wasn't it, it was simply because she wasn't invited so had a need to try to spoil it for my mom. Why else would she do that? Why would you deliberately call someone and "let them in on a secret being planned for them?" What bullshit is that. Besides, it was no secret, the only secret was suppose to be not telling my siblings but that request was disregarded.

Anyway, I planned it all out and I rented a room for it, got the food, etc. Got mom down there around 1:00 and we got back home around 4 pm. There was 2 missed calls from my sister on our phone. One at 2:38 and another around 3:30. Why? Why would you call to interrupt such a special thing as a limited time meeting with her mom's sister? Why? Because my sister always has to be the center of attention as well and that's another reason she's so angry she wasn't suppose to know about it. This is not about her, it's about my mom and her sister. It's not chit-chat time with cousins, or hover around mom to make it look like you're actually involved in her life more than a phone call... Anne!!! It's about mom!! not you!! Why the fuck do you want to interrupt what little time she has with her sister? They were only here for a bit over an hour. So you want to take away time from mom so you can talk to your aunt and cousin? Get a freakin life.

Mom says she can wait and doesn't call her back for a few hours. lol geez... Tells her it has nothing to do with my cousin (my sister gave her great credit, all the credit, for this event). Mom told her I paid for it all, I arranged it, everything. My sister goes silent. (later this morning turns out she went back on facebook and announced again thanks to my cousin for arranging it all... lol.. She is just too much.

However.. she is giving my mom grief about this all now. She can't stand my nephew because he didn't invite her or her son, to his wedding, she can't stand his wife either pretty much for the same reasons. And that was the nephew that was here at the gathering. She is really angry she wasn't there. Gee I wonder why huh? She interrogated my mom and grilled her about this day. Almost to the point of ruining it for her. She was so happy to see her sister and brother-in-law and my cousin and her husband. And then along comes Anne and her phone calls...

Now I'm afraid my cousin is about to get a gentle but firm earful from my mom for letting my sister in on all this. She specifically asked that it not be mentioned to save her exactly this kind of grief but my cousin didn't listen. And it's not like she had no idea how bad things can get with my siblings. My mom and her have talked about it many times. And my sister is about to get an earful as well from my mom that she isn't going to take kindly too either but my mom is fed up. All she wanted was a nice day with her sister. A short but meaning ful hour spent with her. Due to distance it could be the last time for them and because my cousin went against my mom's wishes and blabbed to my sister, my sister has got to jump in and give my mom grief about it, thus spoiling it somewhat for her. She's really fed up with Ann spoiling stuff for her because of her hate for me. She needs to grow the hell up and focus some of that negative attention that she spews on my mom into positive attention and visit her or send her flowers or do something. Yeah, I know, she's broke. Who the hell isn't? Her boyfriend works... and a $ store card and a stamp is still less then $2. Maybe it's the effort that it would involve???